vent

social eye and so shall I!!
i have nothing to declare...
take me right now, take me whenever
i am looking you in the eye...
therefore i do not fear for
I think of it not as a fall
but a rise in humility.

tell me when

tell me when its over, ok?

baap ka hi hai!!

Upon entering the class I notice Syed Ali Imran Ali Shah (A.K.A deo/jin/bhooth) and Awais Asad (A.K.A daku) deeply engrossed in some sort of a bet. Quietly, I join the passive participants in the first row and courtesy, an attentive ear, ascertain what exactly is going on...

Baba Du: Awais Asad is going to lift Ali Imran for 10 seconds and if he can he'll get 100 Rs!!chattering: chakkar hi koi nahi!! thats 3 times his body weight!! 100 Rs!!... itnay paisoon keliye to main hall main nanga nach loon!!
Saroop: Bet lagao!! 3:1 odds...

noon: you think he can do it?
nadim: do what? spank the monkey? hug the dolphin? whack the weasel? walk the dog? salute the general? load the cannon? hain hain hain?
noon: why do i even bother? *rolls eyes* both laugh

After stretching awhile awais asad rolls back his sleeves and begins the 'uplifting' process. grunts of a questionable nature augment from the daku... but even before Ali Imran tilts along any axis... A loud 'RIPPPP' is heard by all... Ali Imran looks down to see his pants are torn.

class: oye! oye! oye! oye! oye! HAHAHA! oye! oye!
fueled by the 'oye oye' Ali Imran slaps Daku crisply across his face.
Awais: Baap ka hai to phir se maar!
Ali Imran is more than happy to oblige. A loud 'tapakh' resonates
Awais: Baap ka hai to phir se maar!
once again Bhooth man is up to the task.
*awkward pause*
A red Daku, with a hand imprint the size of jupiter on his left cheek is about to say something once more.
Awais: Baap ka hai...

Nadim: Oye bewakoof!! tujhay samajh nahi aa rahi... woh apnay baap ka hi hai!!
Class: oye! oye! oye! HAHAHA! oye! oye! oye!

bilal: oye oye oye… *pauses* noon... yaar nutmeg kya hota hai?!
horse: brother batata hai.

RAIFER BELOW!!

mein akhia yao!!

1514.

keeping in sync with the blog...

robin hood and little john stepped out of the woods and caught my attention... not because they were known throughout nottingham shire as 'the protectors of the innocent' but because they were gaily skipping, holding hands. 'theyre bloomin spartan!' i thought but i decided not to broach the subject there and then because they were more important matters on the table.

Azam the bruce: 'Edward the III has issued a proclamation banning football because young men, like us, are playing it rather than practising archery'
Robin: yes, i have been denying the bow its due attention these past couple of days.
Little John: O robin, youre such a panzy, youre always thinking of building up a sweat. why dont you come with me and pick some berries?

enter chun the long shanks!
Chun: i am the villian of this story! i hereby place you decadent lot under arrest for failing to adhere to the laws set by your king!
Azam the bruce: huan?!?!
Chun: this is the last nutmeg you'll see for a very long time... youre going to be nutmegging inmates in prison now. muahahaha!
Azam the Bruce: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Chun: you there, youve been practising youre archery?!
Robin: yes sir, religously!!

taking this as a sign from God Robin of Locksley went on to become the figure that many a retard consider him today!!

and what is the nutmeg...

what is the nutmeg?
who knows?
not the rose...
but the scent of the rose
not the fly
but the gleam of the fly
not who i am
but what makes 'I'
and your mother runs an escort service!!

nutmeg 101.

teacher: please open your books to page three hundred and zero...
omer jabbar start reading.
*blah blah blah*
indistinct talking between the backbenchers...

kass: yaar sunna hai prince driving ke liye caning kar raha hai...
saroop: haan yaar... sunna hai naru truck chalata hai.
kass: baqi to sub theek hai... but naru bara %*!@#@ hai.
*nods all around*

Innocent Naru sitting one row behind umar jabbar does not own a truck, neither does he know how to drive. he is a nice, shareef boy but has been the topic of discussion whenever the 'backbenchers' run out of topics to discuss.

Teacher: i hear too much noize from the backside!!
Backbenchers: sir, phir bathroom jayain!!

*class cheers*

bilal: oye noon, yeh nutmeg kya cheez hoti hai?

foosht!!

*overheard*
woman: hiya.
man: hi.
woman: ive noticed you around... i find you very attractive.
man: ive noticed you too... infact i was just wondering if youd like to c...
woman: BEAR YOUR CHILDREN!?!?
*awkward pause*
man: HELL YEAH!!

and so began azam ali's alternative blog!!

who knows what a bed pan is? a bed pan is a utensil that immobile patients use to relieve themselves... i have used a bed pan. it isn't nice. i hate ugly nurses. my nurse gave me general anesthesia and then started asking me personal questions.
'aap ko kaun pasand hai?'

be nice, say vixen!! a gentlemen always says vixen. eg.
'alas! anon! be gone! you insufferable vixen!'

also... be informed... i have hugged jamali. u know, prime minister jo tha... i like him as opposed to a bed pan (refer above). he is also better than most ugly nurses. (refer above). jamali is the only president who didn't have a decoy. u know, body double. the pak secret service couldnt find a bloke fat enought... seriously.... i hugged him anyway!

on a lighter note... your mother runs an escort service!!

please read your reading packages and come prepared for tomorrows class... we shall be discussing in lenght the meaning and sinificance, origins and development of the 'nutmeg' and i shall go on to explain the impact of the nutmeg in modern day calcio.


'Azam Noon stop talking!! GET OUT OF THE CLASS!! i give you pink card!! i send you headmaster!! '

...'sorry madam! buss second last chance'...

quick tip of the day:

its an hotel, not a hotel!!

ZIZOU = 360...
and your mother runs an escort service!!