1514.

keeping in sync with the blog...

robin hood and little john stepped out of the woods and caught my attention... not because they were known throughout nottingham shire as 'the protectors of the innocent' but because they were gaily skipping, holding hands. 'theyre bloomin spartan!' i thought but i decided not to broach the subject there and then because they were more important matters on the table.

Azam the bruce: 'Edward the III has issued a proclamation banning football because young men, like us, are playing it rather than practising archery'
Robin: yes, i have been denying the bow its due attention these past couple of days.
Little John: O robin, youre such a panzy, youre always thinking of building up a sweat. why dont you come with me and pick some berries?

enter chun the long shanks!
Chun: i am the villian of this story! i hereby place you decadent lot under arrest for failing to adhere to the laws set by your king!
Azam the bruce: huan?!?!
Chun: this is the last nutmeg you'll see for a very long time... youre going to be nutmegging inmates in prison now. muahahaha!
Azam the Bruce: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Chun: you there, youve been practising youre archery?!
Robin: yes sir, religously!!

taking this as a sign from God Robin of Locksley went on to become the figure that many a retard consider him today!!

and what is the nutmeg...

what is the nutmeg?
who knows?
not the rose...
but the scent of the rose
not the fly
but the gleam of the fly
not who i am
but what makes 'I'
and your mother runs an escort service!!

nutmeg 101.

teacher: please open your books to page three hundred and zero...
omer jabbar start reading.
*blah blah blah*
indistinct talking between the backbenchers...

kass: yaar sunna hai prince driving ke liye caning kar raha hai...
saroop: haan yaar... sunna hai naru truck chalata hai.
kass: baqi to sub theek hai... but naru bara %*!@#@ hai.
*nods all around*

Innocent Naru sitting one row behind umar jabbar does not own a truck, neither does he know how to drive. he is a nice, shareef boy but has been the topic of discussion whenever the 'backbenchers' run out of topics to discuss.

Teacher: i hear too much noize from the backside!!
Backbenchers: sir, phir bathroom jayain!!

*class cheers*

bilal: oye noon, yeh nutmeg kya cheez hoti hai?

foosht!!

*overheard*
woman: hiya.
man: hi.
woman: ive noticed you around... i find you very attractive.
man: ive noticed you too... infact i was just wondering if youd like to c...
woman: BEAR YOUR CHILDREN!?!?
*awkward pause*
man: HELL YEAH!!

and so began azam ali's alternative blog!!

who knows what a bed pan is? a bed pan is a utensil that immobile patients use to relieve themselves... i have used a bed pan. it isn't nice. i hate ugly nurses. my nurse gave me general anesthesia and then started asking me personal questions.
'aap ko kaun pasand hai?'

be nice, say vixen!! a gentlemen always says vixen. eg.
'alas! anon! be gone! you insufferable vixen!'

also... be informed... i have hugged jamali. u know, prime minister jo tha... i like him as opposed to a bed pan (refer above). he is also better than most ugly nurses. (refer above). jamali is the only president who didn't have a decoy. u know, body double. the pak secret service couldnt find a bloke fat enought... seriously.... i hugged him anyway!

on a lighter note... your mother runs an escort service!!

please read your reading packages and come prepared for tomorrows class... we shall be discussing in lenght the meaning and sinificance, origins and development of the 'nutmeg' and i shall go on to explain the impact of the nutmeg in modern day calcio.


'Azam Noon stop talking!! GET OUT OF THE CLASS!! i give you pink card!! i send you headmaster!! '

...'sorry madam! buss second last chance'...

quick tip of the day:

its an hotel, not a hotel!!

ZIZOU = 360...
and your mother runs an escort service!!